White Guy in Asia: How it Feels

This might be offensive. I had to make sweeping generalizations to make it effective.

Analogy

You're at a bar in Ottawa with a group of friends. It's still early, so conversations are possible. You bump into some dude and exchange casual hello's. The one or two words indicate an accent.

"Where are you from?"
"England."

Suddenly, this guy is the most interesting person in the bar. You're super excited to talk to someone with a funny foreign culture and you mention all the stupid stereotypes that come to mind. You introduce him to all your friends,

"Hey guys, dude's from England."
*Gasp*
"England!? That's so cool! 'Ello guvna! Cheerio!"

They hang on to every word he says and laugh at the funny way he talks. Everyone is intrigued to know why he's here. Ignoring any of his other traits, many girls in the group find him attractive.

Being a white guy in Asia is like this, but the stereotypes are more extreme, the cultural differences are greater, and people can tell you're white on sight.

White Guy Stereotypes

You're attractive and want to have sex

Everyone in the world seems to consume a great deal of Western media. White guys in media are celebrated as being physically attractive. When Asian people see more white men in media than real life, those depictions carry weight. Lighter skin is also more attractive (considered upper-class) in Asian cultures. People in lower class, rural areas often have darker skin, so the association has made skin tone affect physical attractiveness. You won't find tanning lotion in pharmacies, but there will be racks of skin whitening lotion.

By having white skin, a guy is deemed to be more physically attractive, cool, interesting, extroverted, exotic, cultured... white guys are fetishized and treated as status symbols. Most of the English-speaking Asian girls I've met say they date white men almost exclusively. Translating that to feelings: local girls think you're hot.

White skin makes a guy very attractive, and very attractive guys are stereotyped to sleep around. One of the only non-fighting-related conversations I had with my Muay Thai kickboxing trainers was,

"You boom boom lots of Thai girls?"
*half-smiling, trying not to be offended*
"No."
"Why not?"
I'm not ok with this. End it with some bravado bs.
*confident grin*
"I boom boom all the farang girls."
"Ohhhh, ok. Hahahaha."

They were half-joking, but the reality is that locals will often treat white guys like sex tourists in less developed countries and players in more developed ones. This means if a white guy is hanging out with a local girl, the local girl will be viewed as a prostitute/sugar baby in less developed countries or promiscuous in more developed countries. It's so pervasive that I even think the same thing upon seeing a young mixed couple.

All that being said, what everyone wants to hear: even in Singapore, the most Westernized Asian city where white guys are common, I've heard that local girls will approach white guys and buy them drinks in bars.


You're cool, interesting, and extroverted

A white guy who has been in Asia for a while is probably not cool or extroverted. Regardless, media portrays white guys to be cool, foreigners are interesting in every city (except London, Paris, and NYC), and Asian culture / social pressures make white guys appear to be more extroverted.

Creative, too. Funny side story: back in 2010, I did an internship at Microsoft in Beijing. The reason they were looking for a Westerner intern was because they wanted someone to come up with new ideas for products and Westerners are seen as being more creative. The reason they wanted new ideas for products was to prove to their Western counterparts that the Chinese product team was capable of independently coming up with new products. In summary, they hired a Westerner to do stereotypically Western tasks, proving the Chinese product team was capable of these tasks. The irony is that Westerners stereotype Chinese people to be ingenious. Backwards.


You're wealthy and ignorant

Especially in less developed areas, everyone will assume you are rich. There aren't any poor white people around. All white people have money and spend it. White people are generally travellers, so they don't know the local language, customs, culture, and they don't seem to have any intention of learning it. More importantly, white people don't know the local prices. Locals take advantage of that, so white people feel scammed every time they pay for something. Getting scammed feels terrible - you feel angry and vindictive - but there's nothing you can do about it. And it becomes routine in Asia.

Being stereotyped as wealthy and ignorant also affects how you treat locals. When some person spontaneously begins talking to you, you will assume they want something from you. They will have to break through your bitch shield before you can have any meaningful interaction. Most of the time (just like an British person in Ottawa) they just think you're interesting and want to chat.

On Sight

White guys stand out in Asia. White guys are much bigger/taller, wear different clothes, have different skin tone, and have different hair colour. It's like 'Where's Waldo?' in a monochrome setting. Ignoring all the white guy stereotypes, looking that different in public is enough to warrant staring. Altogether, a white guy walking around will get somewhere between funny looks and celebrity treatment (yes - pictures, autographs, etc.).

I've heard many stories of white guys getting overinflated egos, especially guys who never got any attention in their home countries. It's understandable - if you can bear it, the attention is flattering. To avoid it... leave Asia - there's no way to prevent yourself from getting used to the attention and inflation of self-worth, but you can be cognisant of the changes. Of all the stereotypes out there, being considered wealthy, ignorant, cool, interesting, extroverted, attractive, and sex-seeking by virtue of skin colour isn't all that bad.

04 Oct 2013